End of quarter gray cloud festival

Ah, the PC experience. I’ll be a guest blogger on the subject soon, but I just haven’t had a chance to put something together with the end of the quarter coming.  But if you’re dying for a piece of raw, honest PC life, I’m willing to dish today.  Maybe even vent a little too.

Needless to say, I haven’t been able to get to bed before 4am all this week.  It’s the last week of classes, though next week being studio week usually means little difference – I still spend just as much time in meetings and make up classes as any other week…I’m just supposed to finish all my projects meanwhile.
Despite getting little sleep from Wednesday night to Thursday morning, I did have a nice evening after class, getting in a good 40 minutes of badminton time…I can’t let my slovenly body completely atrophy before I graduate.  My goal that night was to get out a massive amount of revisions for a class that I’ve been working on for the past couple of days.  I thought it wouldn’t take me too long to prepare them, but the sun was rising before I got to see my mattress.  The birds started chirping at 3am, the first garbage truck arrived at 5:30, and the sound of pipes busy with morning showers started at 6:30.  I know, I’m lucky, I got to sleep a few hours, I could’ve had nothing…but since I’ve aged 30 years in the past 18 months, my body handles this sort of thing worse with each passing week.  So, I did get some peaceful rest time until 9:30 when I was awakened to discuss some bank stuff with Pig, and then slowly getting my ass ready for the 30 minute hike to work.  But my giant amount of revisions was sent off for review and I felt pretty good about it…and most of all, relief of getting it packed in a PDF and sent before I left for the day.

I checked my email at work in the afternoon, and got response back from the files I had sent in the morning.  I felt something like that giant 16 ton weight from Monty Python’s Flying Circus crash on me as I read the feedback.  All caps was used at in part of it to emphasize the amount of fixin’ needed.  However, it was noted that there was so much wrong with it that it was too much to write in an email and would have to wait for class Monday.  But rework it meanwhile.

So. That is a little piece of the PC experience.  I keep asking if it’s worth it.  Is it worth the stress I put on myself, my health, my family?  I see other people getting oportunities, but I could be one of the unmentionables that just falls between the cracks.  Well, I don’t just fall, I’m sure it’s my own bloody fault.  I can’t get a grip on one particular aspect and end up reverting in my process, and I don’t do the shmooze and social thing very well.  And a lack of sleep makes that gray cloud just a bit gloomier.  I suppose if I never rise to anything at least I can be satisfied that at least I made it through six quarters of the program – hopefully all eight at the end of the year.

And so now I will sleep.  It’s almost 3, and that’s before 4, so I’m very happy and just a tiny bit guilty.  Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow and write cheery optimistic posts, but not likely…I have a lot of work to do, and there are enough of those posts by other classmates out there anyway.  You can tune in here to hear struggle, attempts, failures, and some weird determination that drives me with the simple hope that maybe all this trouble will be worth it somewhere down the road.

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2 Comments

Filed under design, Portfolio Center

2 responses to “End of quarter gray cloud festival

  1. dreodonnell

    Hey,
    If you ever need to commiserate, you know where to find me!
    It’s 6 am, and I’m reading your blog after dealing with drunk people for 8 hours!
    It’s unfortunate that trying to maintain any sort of life, family, work schedule is next to impossible while going to school. I have very often (maybe close to every day) questioned how I am going to make it work and maintain any sort of life.
    To me, it really is a love a hate relationship- you’re high sometimes, but then get knocked down so low. I question sometimes if I am doing the right thing because of the consequences to my life and the fact that I’m in a constant state of chaos trying to maintain. And you can’t make excuses or explain, because they just don’t get it and/or understand/believe you!
    I really do think that the experience is significantly different for individuals that may have a more established life and routine that they are required to maintain from those who can focus primarily on school and their assignments.
    I have a joke with my Dad, that even if I don’t get a job right away, I could probably give time management seminars. And that goes back to those constant doubts and fears- and nothing is ever good enough! The questioning… What am I doing, why, for what, at what cost, is it going to pay off?
    Anyway, just so you know, I’m in the same boat. So, if you ever just want to scream AAHHHH, or anything else, to someone who understands, you know how to reach me!

  2. Thanks Dre, it’s so great to have you around PC and be able to relate. Sometimes you motivate me – “well, I’m here on a couch working on stuff in the middle of the night, and poor Dre is dealing with drunk Buckheadites right now, and then working on stuff til the sun comes up.” Hmm, sometimes things don’t seem so bad for me.

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