Awake again


Sleeplessness has definitely plagued me lately. I’m rarely drinking coffee or anything caffeinated these couple of weeks, so don’t blame it on that. I’ve battled with sleep for as long as a can remember – ether not being able to escape it, or not being able to enter it. It comes in various stages and extremities, and it’s peaked at a nasty level again. Lately I haven’t had a need or reason to stay up til when most people are getting up for work. It’s isolating and frustrating. I’d like a normal schedule, but I can’t seem to fall into that groove.


Sleeping meds sometimes help, but lately they just put me in a very odd daze that develops into a fog that hangs over me for the following day. I don’t have a prescription kind, and don’t know what to think about them. I’ve heard enough scrutiny a bout them from my peers, yet people in my family swear by them. And speaking of which, I’m getting blood taken tomorrow for the doctor,we’ll see what happens.


So, it’s not too late yet in the evening, there could be hope of getting a night’s sleep. Maybe I should be plopping my head into a pillow now rather than putting my brain to use? No, my mind would race anyway, things i need to do, why my portfolio site sucks, things I’ve done wrong, what I should do in the morning if I feel up to it but know I wont…and then I accidently glance at the clock, see it’s 4, now 5, I get angrier, frustrated, my heart races more. I can find more constructive things to do than that. Maybe I’ll write, and maybe someone else will see this and know what I’m talking about. Networking, eh?


I know, I’ll probably sink into the opposite problem once classes kick in full steam – the inability to escape fatigue’s nasty grip. Meanwhile, i’ll just be getting through one night at a time and see what happens.

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